TWITTER: @sirbacon123

19 January 2010

Madden or Mirtazapine?

According to, there are no fewer than 24 medications for depression.

They run from A to Z, or technically Adapin to Zoloft.

I am happy to say that medications have not been part of my diet during my 25 years of employment OR 14 months of unemployment, but in the last year, there have been days where I could’ve used the positive energy boost in my Jamba Juice.

Today was one of those days, but instead of giving Amitrityline or Imipramine a taste, I used a prescription that wasn’t on the list --- Madden.

As in, Madden 2009, the video game.

Today’s mood swing was a quick one, but thankfully it was adjusted with the help of the Wii, instead of a dose of Wellbutrin.

My son and I completed a game where the Colts defeated the Chargers 34-30 on a last-second hail mary. The outcome was insignificant, to me, but in less than 20 minutes, one game of Madden picked up my attitude quicker than Lexapro or Norpramin.

And with none of those amazing side effects that make us all giggle.

Don’t let my sense of humor confuse you, the last few hours were some of the toughest I have had since becoming unemployed.

I’ve had my share of pity parties during this unemployment episode, but depression has not really been an issue.

To be perfectly honest, today looked a whole lot like the rest of the days with lots of family time and very little stress.

That all changed in a sixteen minute phone call with an old friend, actually a former boss of mine.

This former boss is one of my favorite people in the world and somebody who truly showed me how to succeed in the business world -- until I lost my job of course.

I don’t get a chance to talk to him much, but when I do, it usually ends with, “if there is anything I can do, let me know.”

And he means it.

He also meant what he said during the phone call when he gave me a swift kick in the pants.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, IT’S TIME TO START KNOCKING DOWN DOORS instead of leaving flowers on the doorstep.

He made it clear that this journey of finding a job wasn’t going to happen on its own and I needed to force the issue.

His words cut into me like a steak knife, leaving an immediate mark in my medium-rare skin.

I certainly understand his nothing-to-lose, go-for-it mentality, especially from someone who has a job, but the bottom line is he is right.

Well, just like when I worked for my friend, he still knows exactly what buttons to push to get me going.

In the end, I’m guessing that his challenge will motivate me and hopefully have some positive results.

Unfortunately, the immediate reaction to the phone call sent me into a three-hour tailspin.

The bottom line is he made me feel bad, a feeling a felt through the entire afternoon. I’m sure that was not his goal and to be quite honest, I’m not sure what I felt bad about.

Just like depression, lack of confidence has never been on my resume and I certainly don’t doubt my abilities.

For the last year, I have made every effort to find a job. I really have, despite the lack of results.

Searching the internet, emailing my contacts, following up with phone calls, reaching out to pretty much everyone I know in this world.

Well, we’ve seen where that got me.

Maybe it’s time to try another prescription.

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