Welcome to my first ever Sir Bacon Movie Review.
GROWN UPS with Adam Sandler:
• Strikeout Swinging!
There you have it. Thanks for watching.
Talk about a movie that tried too hard to be funny.
This was it.
I got the feeling that the four SNL alums + Paul Blart wrote down 50 one-liners each and handed them to a writer and said make a movie.
Our family of five was looking for a mellow way to spend the afternoon of July 4th, so we went to the local theater.
You already know how I feel about the movie.
My wife was about the same.
But the good news is the kids laughed.
And isn’t that all that matters.
I definitely laughed a couple of times too, maybe even a bunch of times, but I suppose I expected more and I didn’t get it.
One of the LOL moments for me, and of course the kids, was when the young son of Kevin James breast-fed from his mother in front of the entire group.
That wasn’t the funny part.
The funny part was when Chris Rock asked James how old the boy was and James said 48 months.
“You mean FOUR YEARS,” said Rock.
I think it was Rock. I was barely paying attention at that point.
But I did laugh.
It also made me think about a conversation I had a few days earlier with a friend/former colleague.
We probably hadn’t spoken in about ten years, but who’s counting?
After a few moments of traveling down memory lane, we caught up to the present tense.
Fortunately I was successful in giving him the cliff notes version of the last 18 months of my life.
As much as people say they want to know, they don’t really want to know.
We also talked about our families.
I told him that my three kids were 13, 11 and 6.
He said that his son is 22 months.
You mean one year and ten months, right Mr. Rock?
I told him that 22 months is a great age.
That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?
I also told him that as much as I enjoyed “the age of months”, I really love the fact that I am now living with real people.
I’m certainly not implying that a 22-month old is not a real person, but as cute as they are at that age, there’s a reason why they call it the terrible twos.
Looking back, we had more issues with the therrible threes, but there’s nothing a deep breath and a six-pack of Corona Light didn’t cure.
I can say with complete honesty that there has not been one stage of my kids’ life that I haven’t truly enjoyed.
Sure, I could’ve done without the short, interrupted nights of sleep when they were very very young, but thanks to a bad case of father ear and a light-sleeping wife, I got off pretty easy.
And yes, I could’ve lived without some of the temper tantrums, but considering what I must’ve put my parents through when I was that age, I’ve got nothing to complain about.
And honestly, I didn’t even mind changing the poopy diapers.
Really.
Don’t get me wrong, there are moments where I wanted to scream.
And plenty of moments where unfortunately I did.
But one good thing about unemployment, it has really mellowed me out.
Somebody asked me last Sunday what I was doing on Wednesday.
Wednesday?
I’m living minute-to-minute bay-bee.
I'm not really sure how I got to this mellow here-and-now place in my life, but I’m really starting to like it.
I don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about the future.
Probably for good reason, but the truth is the future is now.
And that is quite a change for me.
I spent a good portion of my 20’s and even 30’s thinking about the 40’s and 50’s.
When I was 21, I bought a life insurance policy so that my kids would be taken care of.
I wasn’t even dating at the time.
Damn salesman!
But now that I am here, in the now, and especially where my “now” has taken me, it’s definitely time to live in the moment.
That’s what my therapist and I determined.
Actually, that’s pretty much word for word what my 11-year old son told me a few months ago.
I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about when I told him “I wish I would’ve ________ (fill in the blank),” but I definitely remember him saying:
“Don’t worry about it Dad. Live in the moment. That was yesterday.”
Now who's the grown up.
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