Taking The Stage

Ladies and Gentlemen, THE CLEARANCE RACK.

To paraphrase the great Dennis DeYoung, tonight’s the night we made history.

Tonight was the debut of our new band, The Clearance Rack.

Considering where I bought our matching button-down polka-dotted cowboy shirts, all a size too small by the way, it felt like the perfect name for our group.

If you don’t count the choir at my synagogue growing up, this is only the second band I’ve ever been part of and the first since my Junior year of college.

23 years ago!!!

In case you missed the article in Rolling Stone magazine (or my recent blog), we’ve been a band for all of two weeks.

Short story shorter -- the father of one of my daughter’s friends and his two neighbors loved the video game Rock Band so much, they decided to start their own real band.

Minus a singer.

Yada yada yada.

I guess you know the rest.

Our first gig was tonight at their annual block party -- their 10th annual block party.

Little did I know when I signed up, but this shindig is a pretty big deal around them parts.

I know it may sound like, “the fish was THIIIIIIIIS big,” but there had to be at least 250 people in the crowd.

There was a professional band that went on right before us, which is not the kind of lead-in a bunch of rookies were looking for.

And with no weddings or bar mitzvahs scheduled for today, the pros were able to play an extra long set, really raising that bar.

Even though this is supposed to be fun and not get in the way of the day job, for the 75% of the band with a day job, we’ve been taking this band thing very seriously.

We’ve been practicing for two hours a night, late at night, almost every night, since we met.

Two weeks ago.

We practice at the drummer’s brother’s storage garage.

I guess that qualifies us as a garage band, right?

Well, I’m proud to announce that we didn’t play like trash tonight.

Sure, there were moments that would make Adam Lambert blush.

Try again.

Sure, there were moments that would make Susan Boyle grimace.

Take three.

Sure, there were moments that we’d like to have back, but for a quartet of 40-somethings clearly going through a mid-life crisis, we did not embarrass the family name.

I gotta be honest, this band thing has been a fantastic distraction from the real world.

Now I’m certainly not the first unemployed person to be in a band and I definitely won’t be the last, but for the last two weeks, I have had a job.

And a damn important one!

Did I mention this was the 10th annual block party?

With 25,000 people there.

Sure it would be great if this singing thing was a full-time gig.

And it would be great if we could open for Justin Bieber.

But I’m kinda thinking neither one of those is going to happen.

However, what could happen is another gig to keep us going.

A high school girl at tonight’s show wants us to play at her graduation party.

My sister-in-law wants us to perform at her son’s school.

And there’s always the street corner.

Wow, who knows where this will lead us?

Yes, it’s only been two weeks and yes, you are only as good as your last song -- for us, a bluesy version of the Stray Cat Strut -- but the liquored up audience really thought we were great.

At least that’s what they said.

P.S.  If you are looking for video proof of tonight's masterpiece, it definitely exists.   The version from my video camera looks like it was shot from a cruise ship during the taping of The Perfect Storm, so hopefully I will be able to track down a version that won't give you vertigo.

SET LIST

Should I Stay or Should I Go, The Clash

Blitzkrieg Bop, The Ramones

Island in the Sun, Weezer

Pork & Beans, Weezer

Stray Cat Strut, Stray Cats