Cabin Fever

Even though my recent three-day retreat with my daughter’s class felt like a vacation at times, as one of about a dozen chaperones, there was definitely work to be done.

There was making sure the kids cleaned their plates and cleaned their tables at every meal.

There was making sure that our group got to every assignment on time.

And of course, we needed to make sure EVERYBODY had a good attitude and a good time.

I didn’t say it was hard work, but a job is a job.  

Especially these days.

But perhaps my greatest responsibility was being the voice of reason, along with one other parent, as we shared a cabin with seven 7th grade boys, ages 12-13.

And we were really tough.  

Well, not really.

LIGHTS OUT AT 9:00PM!!!   

Ok, 11.

YOU NEED TO SHOWER!!!  

Unless you don’t want to.

WOULD YOU TALK LIKE THAT IF YOUR DAD WAS HERE?

Surprisingly, of the 25 or so boys that came on the trip, not one of their dads joined them.

Those working people really have it tough.

All of the male chaperones were there with their daughters, leaving us in a bunk with a bunch of boys we’d never met.

Of course, that gave us a great opportunity to spend some quality time with the troublemakers our little innocent angels are hanging out with.

And let me tell you, Bill Cosby had it right -- kids definitely do say the darndest things.   

If you don’t believe me, maybe you will believe them.

Here is a sample of the quotes that were fit to print:

• NOBODY is hotter than Miley Cyrus in the Party in the USA video!
• I need to shower in the morning because I get B.O. in my sleep.
• I had a nightmare about SpongeBob.

• Lucky Charms is the best.

• Miley Cyrus is WAY hotter than Taylor Swift.

• My mom won’t let me listen to Lady Gaga because she is an Atheist.

  (I’m assuming Gaga was the “she”, not his mom.)

• You bought a new tooth brush just for this trip?  How rich is this kid?

• Greek Chocolate is the best Chocolate.

• When you listen to Dr. Drew’s show, you can laugh at other people’s problems.

• Can I tell Jewish jokes?   Is anybody here Jewish?

• Who’s hotter Miley Cyrus or Demi Lovato?   Dude, Miley Cyrus!

• When I grow up, I’m either going to be an NBA Player or go into the Army.

• The Ring is the sickest movie out there.

• I want to be an Architect, Lawyer or Lacrosse Player.

• I brought four different types of deodorant to make sure I’m covered.

• Brooklyn Decker is hotter than Miley Cyrus.

The boys also informed me that none of them want to be the President of the United States, “because they make fun of you on Saturday Night Live.”


All seven of the boys have iPods.

Six of the seven have cell phones.

Two of the seven have straight A’s.

The two nights that we spent together were short on sleep, but very big on good times.

We laughed so much, I actually felt like one of the boys.

Unfortunately now my daughter wonders whose side I'm on.