TWITTER: @sirbacon123

10 August 2010

Turning The Page: A New Journey

I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray
  -- Prince, 1999
I’ve been writing A blog since the beginning of the year.
I’ve been waiting to write THIS blog for nearly 23 months.
I could wax poetic and build up the drama for the next 900 words, but instead let me cut to the chase:
I have been offered a job and gladly accepted it.
I will begin working again on Monday.
And I can’t wait.

I’ve been waiting for something to happen
For a week or a month or a year
  -- Jackson Browne, Lives in the Balance
For nearly two years, I have been part of a growing group that is just looking for a chance.
A group of people who have been dealt a bad hand through no fault of their own.
A group of people who just want to start life all over again.
A group of people who have been kind enough to embrace me as they connect with my story.
Connect with my story from across my street and across the globe.
I am so excited and so humbled to be one of the lucky ones.
One of the lucky ones being given an opportunity to move on.
Moving on to rebuild something that was destroyed.
And I am going to make the most of it.
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust
  -- Bruce Springsteen, Leap of Faith
As part of this new job, I will be moving away from my family.
For now.
Several thousand miles away.
And that part of it hasn’t really hit me.
But it will.
And when it does, that will be another chapter in my life’s journey.  
Who knows, maybe even another blog.
We broke the news to the kids last week.
My oldest daughter cried first, then my son.
Then my six-year old when she saw her two siblings cry.
But by the end of the conversation, and several since, they are now as excited as I am.
They are totally on board with where life is taking me.
Taking us.
In the last week, they have seen their father smile.  
A lot.
They have seen optimism replace pessimism.
They have seen hope replace fear.

Take care of all your memories
For you can not relive them
   -- Bob Dylan, Nothing Was Delivered
I will look back on this time I have spent at home as the greatest time of my life.
I love working and I will love returning to work.
But to be a stay-at-home dad for as long as I was, is the job that I will be most proud of.
I don’t know if I was cut out to be a parent, but somehow I have figured out how to make it work.
From road trips to school functions to just watching my kids watch TV, there will never be a time where I will regret my time at home.
The times I shared with my family will forever be etched in my heart and in my head.
And in my blog.
This blog has given me the opportunity to relive the experiences and share them with you.
And with me.
The field trip to the zoo.
The little league baseball season.
The spelling bee.
My mother’s bipolar episode.
Good days.  Bad days.
Good moments.  Bad moments.
With every memory and every moment in time, I always had a place to be me.
I will cherish that forever. 
When the day is long and the night, 
the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, 
well hang on
  -- REM, Everybody Hurts
This blog has given me a way to connect with every possible emotion in the food chain.
Anger to depression.
Freedom to complete satisfaction.
I have spent countless hours sitting at the computer, late into the PM and many times early into the AM.
Sitting all alone in a dimly lit room, connecting with my emotions, while connecting with you.
No matter what I was feeling when I sat down in the chair, writing seemed to cure any aches and any pains.
Sadness is a waste of energy.
Bitterness is a waste of time.
But those are real feelings.
What happened to me didn’t need to happen.
What happened to me wasn’t fair.
What happened to me wasn’t right.
But what has happened to MILLIONS of people in this great country is far worse than anything I ever had to deal with.
I never lost sight of that.
And never will.
Since being told nearly two years ago that my “services were no longer needed”, I have seen sides of me that I didn’t know existed.
The side that learned how to love like I’ve never loved before.
The side that learned how to share like I’ve never shared before.
The side that learned how to hurt like I’ve never hurt before.
The side that used to trust, but couldn’t trust anymore.
The side that used to believe, but couldn’t believe anymore.
The side that accepted all of those sides and still found a way to get up in the morning.
And live that day.
And look forward to the next.
I found out who I am.
And I really like him.
Don't give up, 'cause you have friends
Don't give up, You're not the only one
Don't give up, No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up, You still have us
Don't give up now, We're proud of who you are
Don't give up, You know it's never been easy
Don't give up, 'cause I believe there's the a place
There's a place where we belong
   -- Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush, Don’t Give Up
Giving up has never been an option for me.
It has never been a consideration.
But it has been a reality.
I didn’t give up right away.  
And thankfully, I didn’t give up for very long.
We have always been told that hard work wins.
And I worked hard.
VERY hard.
For 25 years.
And all of a sudden because my company was sold and the new company wants to do less with less, I was being punished.
Math major, I am not, but that didn’t add up to me.
It also doesn’t make sense to the so many good, honest, hard-working people who are still being put through this miserable exercise.
The stories you have shared with me have broken my heart and rebuilt my faith at the same time.
So many of you have lost your job, lost your insurance, lost your family, lost your house.
Lost your life, as it was.
I wish I could say that keeping the faith will pay off.
And good things always happen to good people.
And any other cliche from page 94 of the cliche handbook.
But the bottom line is once you have given up, you have nothing.
You are allowed to give up.  
For a moment.  Even for a day.  Even for a week.
I’ve done it.
I just hope if you do give up, you can find something to get you going again.
A goal, a parent, a spouse, a child, a dog, a dream.
It doesn’t matter what keeps you going as long as you are going.
I want to thank you 
for giving me the best day of my life 
Oh just to be with you 
is having the best day of my life 
    -- Dido, Thank You
Thanks to this blog, I have connected with literally thousands of people from around the world.
People I have never met and never will.
But people who have pushed me everyday to tell my story.
Good people from Arkansas to Australia, California to China, Illinois to India, Jersey to Japan, Pittsburgh to Prague.
And of course, Quebec.
Merci Beaucoup.
In just the last week, I have seen new readers from Peru, Barbados, Portugal, Spain, Taiwan and New Zealand.
It is overwhelming and amazing and humbling and any other incredible word that ends in ing.
As Sinead O’Connor once said, Thank You For Healing Me.
Waking up each morning and reading that someone found some inspiration in my story was something I will never forget.
The truth is, you have inspired me.
You have inspired me to keep going.
You have inspired me to not give up.
You have inspired me to go on with each day.
However I’m feeling.
My computer is telling me that this is the 506th page of my blog.
And I have written more than 102,000 words.
Words that have changed my life forever.
I am planning on still writing this blog, a blog, some blog, for as long as I can.
I realize my journey is taking a turn, hopefully a turn for the better, but writing is now a part of who I am.
And who I will be.
But no matter where we go from here, I thank you for every day you have given me.
Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know where the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
I don't wanna see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye
   -- U2, Kite


Big Daddy J said...

Congratulations Sir Bacon. Best to you all...

Anonymous said...

Sir Bacon

Congratulations , i've been blessed by your candor , encouraged by your honesty and touched by your grace.

Best wishes for continued personal & professional success

Keep on keepinn on

Anonymous said...

North of Foothill, we are all so happy for you and relieved that some REALLY SELECTIVE GENIUS realized you are out there.
Just remember us little folks.

Aimlow Joe said...

Good luck. It's a good thing to be back to work and a terrible thing to be so far away from your family. Was this the job in NY you interviewed for several months ago?

Aimlow Joe was here.

Sir Bacon said...

Thank you everyone.

This one came completely out of the blue.

Kinda like Candid Camera. When you least expect it, expect it.

I am very excited and I can't properly express how much I appreciate all of your support.

Anonymous said...

God Bless. You deserve it. Hopefully the family will join you soon. It's tough but I know you have the strength.

Anonymous said...


- Kevin from Saddle River, NJ (frequent lurker)

Anonymous said...

I am glad you found a Job. Congrats!!

Miriam said...

Congratulations on getting back on your feet and landing a job after a very long time! I hope the new path you're treading will lead you through success. Each and one of us went through the unemployment phase, and it was pretty depressing if you are the one who financially supports your family, though luckily for me, that phase only lasted for a few weeks due to the help of various technical staffing firms that my friend has recommended.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what to do .After working for a priest for eight years new boys came in and let me go in Feb. Now I not only lost my job but my faith . I'm angry and bitter, undereducated and unemployed, I won the house in the divorce (after 30 years). I don't even know how to look for a job. I was a housewife for god's sake. They let me go because of the benefits (everyone says they can't do that . Really!? it was open knowledge. Now no-one from there will talk to me after eight years of what I thought was Friendship!

Summer Kate Williams said...
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Summer Kate Williams said...
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carpalace said...

I am going thru a similar situation, but believe me when I say that I am truly so happy for you and your family.
The love that unite you with yours, will find a way to overcome the distance and not to far into the future you will be able to look back and smile
I like to think that all these experiences do not make us harder but better humans, more compassionate and understanding.
Good luck with this part of your journey and God bless :-)