Love Plus One

Whether I choose to believe it or not, there really has been a whole lot of good to come out of my unemployment.

There’s... and of course.. and who could forget...

Ok, but seriously folks.

There is nothing more special or important than the opportunity I have had to spend the quality time with my family.

I'm sure they are tired of me, but they realize I am fragile and they won't say it.

Perhaps my most lasting memory of this most miserable episode will be this blog.

It has connected me with so many wonderful people I have never met and re-connected me with so many lifelong friends I had lost contact with.

When I started writing this blog, I really planned on keeping it to myself.

I’m not sure if I was insecure about the quality of my writing or embarrassed of what my life had become, but after a couple of entries, I started changing my tune.

Not only was I proud of the way I was writing, but I was really proud of what I was writing.

To quote the great Canadian poet Bryan Adams, it was really coming straight from the heart.

So satisfying in fact, that I started notifying my closest of friends.

I guess I figured that they were the ones least likely to pour Morton’s salt in my jobless wound.

Well here we are three months later and I’ve pretty much opened the flood gates. I guess I still have an undefined level of scrutiny of who I will or won’t tell about the blog, but those rules are getting shorter.

My most recent invitee is one of my oldest friends, in years of friendship, not years of life.

Jon and I go back to grade school.

I remember spending many a day at his home.

On weekends, after school, pretty much any time they would take me.

Unfortunately through the years Jon and I have gone in separate directions, but through the magic of Facebook, we have been reunited like Peaches & Herb.

And it feels so good.

Jon is a very successful businessman with a wonderful family.

Well, I’m assuming they are wonderful because they look wonderful in his Facebook pictures.

I look forward to the day where we can all get together in person.

It had been a while since we last traded messages, but I think just knowing that he is one click away has a certain comfort level for me.

Jon sent me a note yesterday to tell me that he ran into a mutual friend of ours.

I replied by telling him I’ve been unemployed for 16 months and am now writing a blog on it.

Am I a bucket of sunshine or what?

Today he replied back. I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing.

So I saw your email this afternoon...sent 3:16... I picked it up at 4:11.

(I know that because I had to race home to meet the Comcast cable guy that was coming between 4 and 6)...

by the way, its 6:40 and he/she is still not here.

I went to your blog....and for the last 2 hrs and 40 minutes read every entry and response.

WOW!

For the record, in my book you are a brilliant writer. I have a hard time focusing when I read, which is why I don't read much. My wife, on the other hand, starts a book and doesn't put it down till its done.

Fortunately, my kids got her reading genes.

I read your book, er blog, cover to cover. Not because I know you but because it connected...it was real...and it was powerful.

Best 2 hr and 40 minutes spent in a long long time.

But now I have to take a leak!

I had to leave that last line in to confirm the closeness of our friendship.

He went on from there and ended with “tell me how I can help and I will in any way I can.”

Jon, you already have.

I gotta be honest with you, I don’t ever get tired of being told that I am loved.

There are a lot of different ways to spread the love.

Phil and Mark usually end a call with F-U.

Well, that's the abbreviation.

David likes to use the L-word.

My mom waits for me to say I Love You so she can say I Love You MORE.

I guess that’s our version of Who’s on First.

No matter how you package it, I’ll take it.

Jon, thanks for the love.

Mon Nouvel Amour, Part Deux

Let’s face it, we all just want to be loved.

Whether its a spouse, a boss, a secret admirer or 50+ French-Canadians we’ve never met before.

We all just want to be loved.

Well, I officially feel loved.

Thanks to Nicolas’ article in La Presse Saturday, I will never have to buy my own Pomme Frites at a Trois-Rivieres Junior Hockey game again.

Chicoutimi could be another story.

I have been absolutely blown away by the incredible response from our friends to the north.

From sweet Murielle, who sent me a beautiful note, all in French (a language unfortunately I do not speak), to my new buddy Martin, who just wanted to wish me luck and courage.

The overwhelming message is very clear -- I am not alone.

When Mylene tells me that her husband lost his job in 2009. Check.

And he is 42. Check.

And they’ve been together for 15 years. Check.

I am reminded again that my story is one that connects with others.

And then she says that I am now one of her favorites. I melted.

Or how about the handful of wonderful French-Canadians, who admitted they don’t speak much English, but still took the time and did the best they could to show their support using the language of love.

The postings at the bottom of my blogs have never been so busy.

My confidence has never been so high.

I realize it is “just a blog” and the $60 worth of groceries I bought at the store today are probably coming out of my kids college fund, but I can smell something special cooking here.

Or maybe it’s just burnt toast. We shall see.

But the bottom line is there are a lot of us in this boat and its up to us whether we sink or swim.

Bernard told me that he “saw the same path.”

Helene reminded me to enjoy every moment I am home with my kids.

Louise said that unemployment really brings out your true friends.

Chantal’s severance will end at the end of May.

She says she is starting over for the 4th time. She has been a nurse, a restaurant manager and an air traffic controller, all the while raising an adopted nine-year old son with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

This just in. I have NOTHING to complain about.

And then there was Genevieve.

She said my children are very fortunate to have me as a father and she called me strong and brave.

Unemployed? Yes.

Strong and brave? Thank you, but that’s where I draw the line.

The single mothers who provide for their children without any support are strong.

The millions of men and women in this world who put their life on the line every day are brave.

I am just lucky.

And loved.

Apple of My Eyes

I think I'm in love.

I know I am married, but with my wife more than 1,500 miles away, I just met someone very special.

Her name is New York, as in New York City.

I've visited her many times before, actually MANY times before, but I've never seen her look so beautiful.

Maybe it was the possibility of getting a job there. Maybe it was my hotel in the heart of the city. Maybe it was the two-plus days of less-than-miserable winter weather, but whatever it was, she was perfect.

As Joan Jett once said, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

• I love walking around Times Square at 10:00am AND 10:00pm.

• I love eating a slice of pizza at midnight.

• I love buying chestnuts, which were really roasted on an open fire, from a street vendor.

• I love riding the subway.

• I love the accents -- and nobody loves a New York accent, not even New Yorkers.

• I love the many options for your morning paper, and I bought them all.

• I love the 2-for-1 ticket booth for Broadway plays, where just the service charge is more than a movie ticket at home.

• I love that my friend's 400 square foot apartment on the Upper East Side is $2,000 a month.

• I love seeing EVERY street with at least ten different restaurants.

• I love seeing Hall, or was it Oates, sitting across from me at the Carnegie Deli.

• I love barely making it through half of my $25 corned beef and chopped liver on toasted rye sandwich at the Carnegie Deli.

• I didn't love that they were a cash only restaurant. No credit cards!

• I love the traffic, probably because I was walking everywhere.

• I love walking everywhere.

I guess the shirt was right...

The Book Of Love

For the last 15 months, my therapist has learned a lot about me.

This week, I learned something about her.

She likes buying books from amazon.com.

Big books, little books, new books, old books.

Just books.

This week, she showed me a used book that she purchased called, “I Believe in You”.

Based on the title, I’m guessing its pretty inspirational, but we never made it to page one.

On the inside of the front cover was a handwritten note from a man to his daughter, dated Christmas 2000.

Kelly,

24 things to always remember and 1 thing to never forget.

• your presence is a present to the world
• you're unique and one of a kind
• your life can be what you want it to be
• take the days just one at a time
• count your blessings, not your troubles
• you’ll make it through whatever comes along
• within you are so many answers
• understand, have courage, be strong
• don’t put limits on yourself
• so many dreams are waiting to be realized
• decisions are too important to leave to chance
• reach for your peak, your goal, your prize
• nothing wastes more energy than worrying
• the longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets
• don’t take things too seriously
• live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets
• remember that a little love goes a long way
• remember that a lot... goes forever
• remember that friendship is a wise investment
• life’s treasures are people... together
• realize that it’s never too late
• do ordinary things in an extraordinary way
• have health and hope and happiness
• take the time to wish upon a star
• and don’t ever forget... for even a day, how VERY special you are.

I love you,

Dad

Thanks “Dad”.

Send this to someone you love.

Our world could use a little more positive energy.